You don’t feel like smiling. I get it. You just got back from holiday vacation and the work is piled up on your desk and all those days of relaxation seem to have vanished as if they’d never happened. Your car engine is making a grinding noise every time you accelerate and you’re afraid to […]
Be Present: Ten years from now, what will have mattered to our children?
Ten years from now . . . Remember: If it will have mattered in ten years, it matters now. Ten years from now, it won’t have mattered whether or not the sink was perfectly scrubbed. Ten years from now it will have mattered that I stopped scrubbing the sink to listen to a problem they […]
Be Grateful: May You Have Many Worries
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh My mother was what you might call a “professional worrier.” She worried with skill, power, and acumen. She could incisively hone in on the most seemingly benign situation and find within it some kernel of […]
Declutter Your Language: No “buts” about it
“I love you but you are being so irresponsible.” “I love you but I am sick and tired of asking you to pick up your stuff.” “I love you but you have got to bring your grades up.” “I love you but you are acting completely helpless.” “I love you but I don’t have to […]
Be Blessed: The next time you groan — stop and listen. You just may hear angels singing.
It was still dark one morning last month, when Jennifer Dempsey was awakened by the sound of her infant daughter babbling away happily in her crib. Rolling over, still half asleep, she checked her clock and saw that it was only 5 a.m. Like any overtired, sleep-deprived parent, who realizes that her precious (and necessary!) […]
Saying Goodbye to Bingo: A Life Lesson in Letting Go of Life
I. Our family had a special voice we used in order to talk on behalf of our dog, Bingo. “Bingo’s voice” was high pitched and raspy — a sort hybrid of whininess and spunk. A blend of his adorable neurosis mixed with his unstoppable joie de vivre. It turns out that (at least in our […]
Be Compassionate: “I hope you have a hard life,too!” — an outburst overheard and understood
I honestly can’t say what the fight was about. I was only there to witness its conclusion. And just barely that. I was walking out of the drugstore yesterday with my purchase in hand, smiling and feeling the sun and the fresh fall air on my skin, when I heard a car door slam loudly […]
Be Aware: Training Your “Puppy Mind”
A puppy can be trained to be a faithful and loving companion. So can your mind. Practitioners of meditation often use the term “monkey mind” to describe the untrained mind: a mind that grasps wildly and randomly at whatever passes through its consciousness; a mind that seizes greedily at every passing thought; a mind unaware […]
Be Choosy: Thoughts are Like Music. Listen to the Stuff You Like.
A wise person once said to me that listening to negative thoughts all day is like having the world’s largest CD collection (or I guess nowadays we would say “The world’s largest iTunes library) and all day choosing to listen to the music you hate the most. The music that depresses you. The music that […]
Be The Answer: Alec’s Story (or “The only answer to a prayer I ever needed”)
I’ve been an educator most of my adult life. Over the years I’ve seen many children whose small and innocent lives were consumed with anger and depression — traumatized by violence, deprivation, and untenable circumstances. But, there was one boy who was by far the saddest, angriest child I had ever met. And there was […]
